N Rowland Sports Writer

I don’t really know how to start this piece as it wasn’t necessarily planned but it’s something I’ve wanted to write for a while now so here goes.

Life: a confusing existence that puzzles and frustrates and demands decision-making, responsibility and growth even when you feel apathetic, anxious or annoyed.

As someone prone to anxiety, stress and even anger, I find it sometimes especially difficult. It can be beautiful and good at times, but those times are often rare and fleeting.

This is a fact of life; the goodness is often fleeting, even in moments of tangible success, all that’s often left is the memories. I often yearn for the goodness to be repetitive and never-ending to escape the aforementioned negative feelings.

But sometimes you find something that’s lifelong and will never leave you; in my case that’s my unbridled love of Barnet Football Club. A small but proud and record-breaking League Two club from North London.

When Barnet found me, I was 5. An impressionable young boy whose love for football was burgeoning and ready to blossom. I needed something real and authentic and special. Something that’d be lifelong, a constant in a world that’s ever-changing.

The first moments of standing on an open terrace, sitting in a floodlit Underhill and being swept up by the electricity of the East Terrace were magical.

The constant in an ever-changing world is so important; Eric Cantona surmised it beautifully when he said, “you can change your wife, your politics, your religion but never, never can you change your favourite football team”.

Your football team, in my case Barnet, gives you a routine which for me is vitally important; the mundanity of modern life can all be forgotten in an early train up north or an evening kick-off under the lights or a local away day. These special things about supporting a lower-league football team are what you rely on during the week when you slave yourself for the capitalist good.

The feeling of supporting Barnet is one that feels egalitarian and close to what football should be, it’s a refreshing antidote to the cynicism and greed of the Premier League. As well as this, it feels close to what life was intended to be too; filled with goodness, merriment and something whereby you love something that’s greater than yourself or others.

This may sound bizarre and like the ramblings of a man that’s never been in a relationship but my love for Barnet is above all else; it’s the love in my life that I never argue with, insult or get angry at. Barnet are always there and yes; they’ve frustrated and annoyed and sometimes have broken my heart but they’re responsible for the best day of my life.

Saturday 26^th April 2025; a day that was about more than just promotion and winning the league. To boil it down to that would be reductive because it was about dreams being realized and people that have stuck by the club through its darker moments getting their day in the sun.

Clubs higher up the footballing pyramid experience this a lot and money elevates clubs at a very fast pace, but we did it without celebrity backing or a sudden injection of cash. To return to how I felt, it was a day where from the moment I woke up to the moment I went to bed, I felt unequivocally happy.

This has only happened a few times in my life but never have I felt happier on this day; it may not have been as societally significant, but it was significant for those of us who bleed black and amber.

Not only was it joyous for me, but it was joyous seeing how happy it made other people too; from the people I’ve travelled the country with to people whose first time it was at the ground, everyone was overjoyed.

I gazed around the pitch and the stands and the Railway Tavern and the bars of Blackpool and the away end at Fylde and saw a club reborn, a fanbase relit and a team resurrected. With the potential move back to Barnet too, this is why its societally significant. When it goes beyond the results, you know its special.

However, since I returned home from the joyous giddiness of Blackpool and Fylde away, I’ve felt empty and yearned for it to be back. My interests don’t stretch much beyond football apart from music and cricket, so I’ve felt unsure, anxious, tense and without the part of my life that I need more than anything.

I’ve always been puzzled and confused by people for whom football and supporting a football team or teams isn’t a passion and lifelong devotion as I don’t think the cinema, the arts or other things people do when we’re at the football are as worthy of the commitment, expense or seriousness that we give to football.

Nobody would stay in an out-of-town Travelodge after losing 3-1 on a Tuesday night after losing an away game the previous Saturday or stand on an uncovered terrace in the driving rain and not get home until nearly midnight or sit on a coach for endless hours having lost a semi-final on penalties, for a film or an exhibition or anything else apart from football.

This is why days like Saturday 26^th April 2025 are so important because you are rewarded for your miles, your spending, your time and your dedication. Supporting your team demands that of you and that requirement of commitment is so vital.

Hence why in the days after the conclusion of the season, I’ve felt empty because I don’t feel as devoted to any of my other interests as I do the Bees. When I’m at Barnet, the stresses and worries and anxiousness with which I feel every day subside and disappear for a few blissful hours. When I leave a Barnet match, they return and sometimes can be all-consuming.

So, I’m not entirely sure how to end this piece apart from returning to my original point that life is stressful, tricky and hard but when you support a football team, in my case Barnet, there’s a window whereby that feeling of difficulty can disappear.

And that is the best thing of all.

Barnet Football Club I will always love you